Happy Birthday, mom!

Tuesday, March 22, was my mom's birthday. My mom passed away in June of 2010.
So this year, 2011, is the first time I cannot not wish her a happy birthday in person.
This post is a tribute to her.  

                  Today is Mama's Birthday

It is the first happy birthday morning with no mama to blow a kiss to
The first when I sing only to myself

She would be 98 today
Hard of hearing
Hard of short-term memory
Hard of walking
Or of standing without pain

I want to feel her life force hurled my way once more
Hear her deep raspy voice complain of age
Of cramping calves
Feel the strength of her embrace
Stare into her eager tender look
Hear the rhythm and the scrape of her walker
Making its way from bed to bath and back

I want to find her at the kitchen table
Poring over German magazines
Working crossword puzzles
Keeping up with gossip about European royalty

Where the greatest tragedy is the final episode of her favorite soap opera
Her 'holy hour'
Where the big decision is what to eat for dinner --
Grilled cheese and tomato or leftover spinach casserole
And later - more decisions
To play Rummi-Kub or watch German crime TV
Enjoy an Irish Cream or go directly to a sleeping pill

I miss you much, mama...